Boundaries: Why Do Some People Build Walls Around Themselves?

For some people, the term walls may bring up associations to do with the physical walls of a house or walls that divide one garden from higher. However, the walls that this article will look into are not physical walls. They are not visible to the eye and after all this doesn’ t mean that the impact they have is any different.

If on one side there are walls, on the other side there would be zero; here one would feel wide unlocked and completely ready. Boundaries are not the inverse of walls. When one has strong boundaries there will not be the need to have walls and excitability wide unbarred, as one would if they had no boundaries, would hardly be experienced.

Two Experiences

So although the person with no boundaries will have walls, it is also likely that there will be moments when they feel wide unfastened. Alternating between the two will then be a part of life.

The walls give them the awareness of complete protection and without them they can feel markedly exposed.

Walls

What walls do is create the innervation of being guarded and through having these, one will feel safe. The problem with having walls is that not only do they keep everyone out; they also keep one locked in. One ends up creating their own prison.

So whatever the positives are, they are nowadays outweighed by the negatives. Logically it is clear and makes sense that walls are no good. But, as it is primarily our emotions and not logic that dictates one’ s life, logic does not make much of a difference here.

Consequences

And if one cuts themselves off from others through having walls, it is going to lead to all kinds of consequences. Relationships will suffer and as this happens one will also suffer. Isolation and feelings of being alone and cut off are also likely to eventuate. Trust in others will not exist and without that relationships are not really possible.

In that even though one is trying to protect themselves from others by having walls, all that ends up happening is the creation of more pain.

What’ s Going On?

The natural human need, to connect and to be with others, is being violated here. So this can only really lead to pain and suffering. But in procession for this to be the plight something needs to have happened that is causing one to go against their own natural need, to connect and be with other human beings.

And in layout to savvy why this may be, we need to look at how the specification mind works and how gone experiences can shape how one sees the world.

The Identity Mind

How the personality mind works can seem illogical at first. As this is being it doesn’ t function on what makes one happy or what is functional. It works through what is intimate and what is familiar is what is associated as being safe. Once something is interpreted to be safe though being intimate; the identity mind will retention onto it and won’ t want to let it go.

Now, this could be a way of seeing life and other people or a way that one behaves.

And what is classed as intimate can be functional and healthy or it can be scrap and unhealthy. When it is vain, like in the position of building walls, it will inevitably create problems.

A Reason

So if one has built walls around themselves, it is for a actuation. And the actuation is that it was for their own survival. At the time of their creation, they allowed one to stay safe and to cope with a latitude or situations.

At the time it could be described as positive and even a necessary thing. The misfortune is that over time, it has just lead to pain and separation from other people.

Patterns

Once this way of being has become associated as what is safe to the name mind; life will make headway to be perceived in the same way. What this instrument is that once one has had an experience or explicit experiences that lead to these walls being created, it will become the construction of how life is.

One will then point up creating the same experiences all over again and the same patterns will be played out. So what may have happened with one person or a few people during one importance or over a pointed period of time, will become how life is and how everyone is.

Absolutes

And as the individuality mind works in absolutes, it will grow better out anyone that does not fit the associations that it has formed around people. The experiences that created this temperament have become what reality is and there is now no other way according to the mind.

People that are unobtrusive of one’ s boundaries and aware of such things are unlikely to be attracted into one’ s life. Unless they are a doctor for citation and people who one was to have an appointment to peep.

Causes

The cause of these walls could have been through what happened to one as an adult. Or it could have been the decision of one’ s youth senility. And as these traumatic experiences have not been looked at, one has ended up being controlled by them.

Boundary Barrage

Whether it was as an adult or as a child, it has lead to a boundary skirmish. Ones personal space was not precious and this means that one felt wide unbarred and unguarded. This would have lead to the personality mind creating associations and emotions / feelings being trapped in the body.

Awareness

And until these are dealt with in some way, it will be highly unlikely that one will let on their walls to come down. Unless one can feel safe to be who they are and to be in their body; naught can really change.

Now, for some it may be enough to just change the identity mind associations and this is what hypnotherapy or CBT would do, but for others going into the feelings may be needed. And this would hurting for some sympathetic of therapy that does innervation work.

The important thing is that one listens to themselves and sees what works and what doesn’ t. As to how long it will take, will depend on many factors: from how ready one is to let go and on the type of therapy that is used.