Five Ways to Make Your Body Speak

? 1999 LJL Seminars

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Dr. Ralph C. Smeadly, the founder of Toastmasters International, wrote, " The speaker who stands and talks at ease is the one who can be heard without fatigue. If his posture and gestures are so graceful and reverential, that no one notices them, he may be counted as well successful. " When your actions are connubial to your words, the impression of your speech will be strengthened. If your platform behavior includes mannerisms unrelated to your vocal message, those actions will call attention to themselves and away from your speech. Below I have provided 5 ways you can rid yoursel of your distracting mannerisms.

1. Rid Yourself of Distracting Mannerisms

Eliminate uttered and visual impediments.

Some common faults of inexperienced or in - effective speakers are:

? Gripping or tendency on the lectern

? Finger tapping

? Opine biting or licking

? Toying with coins or jewelry

? Frowning

? Alteration hair or dress

? Head wagging

These have two things in common:

? They are physical manifestations of simple nervousness.

? They are performed unconsciously.

When you make a oral mistake, you can easily correct it, thanks to you can hear your own words, but you can ' t notice yourself, so most distracting mannerisms go uncorrected. You can ' t eliminate them unless you know they exist.

Videotape yourself.

The first step in eliminating any gratuitous behavior is to obtain an accurate perception of your body ' s image. This should enter:

? Posture

? Gestures

? Body movement

? Facial expressions

? Eye contact

The next step is to free yourself of physical behaviors that do not add to your speech. This can be accomplished by smartly becoming aware of your problem areas. After you have videotaped yourself speaking, review the cd several times and make a register of all the distracting mannerisms you notice.

First review. Review your cd the first time without looking for mannerisms. Just listen to the presentation as if you were decree it for the first time and evaluate the overall impact you experience from watching the record.

Second review. Review your record a second time ( with the whereabouts overripe down ) and look for visual distractions. Take notes on what you espy.

Inquiry review. During this review, have the picture bad off and listen only to your voice. Many people have never even heard a taping of their own voice before. Become accustomed to listening to your voice. Get to know it as others hear it. Note what you like and what you don ' t like. Earnings attention to the speed, the compass, and the tone of your voice.

Fourth review. Once you have made lists both of your distracting mannerisms and your more positive points, you are ready to have one or two family members watch the vinyl with you. Get their initial impression. Ask them to be honest.

Once you have complete these reviews, go over the inventory of all the distracting mannerisms you saying and heard. The next time you are having a conversation with someone you know well, try to note whether you use any of these distracting mannerisms even in casual position. Machinery each of your negative points one at a time.

2. Build Self - confidence by Being Yourself

The most important rule for making your body communicate effectively is to be yourself. The emphasis should be on the sharing of ideas, not on the performance.

Strive to be as actual and natural as you are when you speak to family members and friends.

Large vs. small audiences. Many people say, " I ' m okay in a small party, but when I get in front of a larger coterie I freeze. " The only difference between speaking to a small simple circle and to a sizable audience is the digit of listeners. To redeem for this, you need only to amplify your natural behavior. Be authentically yourself, but amplify your movements and expressions just enough so that the audience can survey them.

3. Let Your Body Mirror Your Feelings

If you are interested in your subject, considerably fall for what you are saying, and want to share your message with others, your physical movements will come from within you and will be belonging to what you are saying.

By involving yourself in your message, you ' ll be natural and spontaneous without having to consciously think about what you are doing or saying. For many of us, this isn ' t as easy as it sounds through it requires us to drop the take cover that shields the " real self " in public.

To become an effective speaker, it is essential that you get rid of your shield and share your true feelings with your audience. Your audience wants to know how you feel about your subject. If you want to convince others, you must ferry your convictions.

Speak from the heart and to the soul.

4. Build Self - confidence Through Preparation

Wind influences a speaker ' s mental bent more than the knowledge that he or she is

thoroughly prepared. This knowledge leads to self - confidence, which is a vital ingredient of effective public speaking.

How many of us have ever experienced a locality in which we had not prepared well for a presentation? How did we come across? On the other hand, think of those presentations that did go well. These are the ones that we had properly prepared for.

5. Use Your Everyday Speaking Situations

Whenever you speak to people, make an extra discipline to thought how you speak. Distinguish, too, whether the facial expressions of your listeners indicate they do or do not take meaning what you are saying. Before calling to request something on the phone, plan and practice what you are going to say. Even this is essentially a short presentation. Major exercise is to prepare a 90 - second presentation about yourself. Explicate who you are and what you do. Register your presentation and review it using the four steps described exceeding.

Since you are conversation about yourself, you don ' t need to research the topic; however, you do need to prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Plan situation including your gestures and moving patterns.

Facial Expressions

Green light that set expression to poker players. A speaker realizes that proper facial

expressions are an important part of effective communication. In actuality, facial expressions are generally the key incitement of the meaning behind the message. People stopwatch a speaker ' s face during a presentation. When you speak, your face - more strikingly than any other part of your body - communicates to others your attitudes, feelings, and emotions.

Remove expressions that don ' t belong on your face.

Pained expressions have distracting mannerisms or unconscious expressions not

profound in your feelings, attitudes and emotions. In much the same way that some speakers perform haphazard, distracting gestures and body movements, nervous speakers often release unnecessary energy and tension by unconsciously moving their facial muscles ( e. g., licking lips, tightening the jaw ).

One type of unconscious facial movement which is less apt to be read strikingly by an audience is characteristic frowning. This type of frowning occurs when a speaker attempts to deliver a memorized speech.

There are no rules ruling the use of specific expressions. If you relax your inhibitions and confess yourself to respond naturally to your thoughts, attitudes and emotions, your facial expressions will be becoming and will project sincerity, conviction, and credibility.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is the cement that binds together speakers and their audiences. When you speak, your eyes interest your listeners in your presentation. There is no surer way to break a communication bond between you and the audience than by slip to look at your listeners. No matter how large your audience may be, each listener wants to feel that you are conversation to him or her.

The saw, " The eyes are the mirror of the soul, " underlines the need for you to convince people with your eyes, as well as your words. Only by looking at your listeners as tribe can you convince them that you are sincere and are involved in them, and that you care whether they accept your message. When you speak, your eyes also function as a predomination device you can use to warrant your listeners ' game and concentration.

Eye contact can also help you to overcome nervousness by making your audience a known weight. Effective eye contact is an important feedback device that makes the speaking locale a two - way communication process. By looking at your audience, you can determine how they are reacting. When you develop the ability to gauge the audience ' s reactions and adjust your presentation for, you will be a much more effective speaker.

How To Use Your Eyes Effectively

1. Know your material. Know it so well that you don ' t have to devote your mental energy to the duty of remembering the sequence of ideas and words.

You should prepare well ( revive to use the 9 P ' s ) and paint enough so that you don ' t have to depend heavily on notes. Many speakers, no consideration how well fabricated, need at virgin a few notes to deliver their whole story. If you can speak effectively without notes, by all agency do so. But if you must use notes, that ' s fine. Just don ' t let them be a equate for preparation and rehearsal.

Even many sharp speakers use notes. Often, they take advantage of such natural pauses as audience paradise or the follow up of an important point to glad eye briefly at their notes. To make this technique work, keep your notes show cause. ( Notice Chapter 6 for more on this concern. )

2. Inculcate a personal bond with listeners. How do you do this? Instigate by selecting one person and speech to him or her personally. Maintain eye caution with that person long enough to install a visual bond ( about 5 to 10 seconds ). This is generally the double of a end or a thinking. Then incline your speculation to added person.

In a small covey, this is relatively easy to do. But, if you ' re addressing hundreds or thousands of people, it ' s farcical. What you can do is huddle out one or two tribe in each longitude of the hour and lay foundation personal bonds with them. Then each listener will get the dogma you ' re words first off to him or her.

3. Overseer visual feedback. While you are talking, your listeners are responding with their own non - oral messages. Use your eyes to actively explore out this respected feedback. If mortals aren ' t looking at you, they may not be listening either. Their reasons may include one or more of these factors:

They may not be striking to originate you.

Solution: If you are not using a microphone, speak louder and note if that works.

They may be tired.

Solution: Use some estimation, increase your spoken stew or add powerful gestures or body

movements.

They may be befuddled.

Solution: Impress and / or rephrase what you have just verbal.

They seem to be fidgeting nervously.

Solution: You may be using distracting mannerisms. Perhaps you have food on your attire ( or worse, feasibly your blouse is unbuttoned or your fly isn ' t closed ). Make thoroughgoing you are perceptive of these embarrassing possibilities before and during your jive. If necessary, try to correct them without bringing more attention to them. On the other hand, if your listeners ' faces indicate pleasure, hobby and close attention, don ' t change a thing. You ' re doing a great job!

Your Appearance

If your listeners will have on suits and dresses, wear your best suit or dress - the outfit that brings you the most compliments. Make perfect that every item of dress is clean and well tailored.

Don ' t wear jewelry that might glint or jingle when you change or signal. This might divert attention from your speech. For the same impetus, empty your pockets of bulky items and item that makes tumult when you stroke.

Part of the first impression you give occurs even before you are introduced to deliver your speech. As the audience arrives, your preparation should be buttoned up. You shouldn ' t have to study your speech. Instead, mingle with the audience, and project that same kind, confident mood that will make your speech a success.

When you speak - especially if you aren ' t well known to the audience - the most crucial part of your presentation is the first few minutes. During that initial segment, the audience will be making critical judgments about you. Your listeners will decide whether you are confident, sincere, affable, eager to address them and worthy of their attention. In large measure, they will base this end on what they examine.

After your introduction, stride purposefully and confidently to the speaking position.

Animated Patterns

Why modification in the first place?

Moving forces people to locus and follow you. The way you turn from your seat to the speaker ' s position is very important. When you are introduced, you should surface eager to speak. Too many speakers look as though they are patronymic toward determination.

Peregrination confidently from your seat to the lectern. Gap there for a few seconds, then stirring out from behind the lectern. As discussed before, it is wise to use the lectern as a point of departure, and not a barrier to ditch behind.

Smile before you say your first words. Be careful not to stand too close to, nor turn beyond, the people in the front row. Be careful not to hike too much. Doing so will work against you. Akin pacing is distracting. Motile can be an effective way to stress an important notion. It is essential that your walk be hardboiled and intentional, not just a arbitrary shift of position. Taking about three steps, moving at a shallow angle, repeatedly works best.

When employing visual aids, use three positions. One position is your " home " position and should be front and focus. The other two positions should be relatively near the " home " position. Never stand in front of any visual aid.

When you practice your speaking, make assured you also practice your moving patterns. Try moving to and from your three positions. These positions should be planned just as your hand gestures are.

When standing still, hold dear to maintain good posture. Stand up straight.

Have memories it ' s not what you say it ' s how you say it and your body does speak very loudly. It ' s only when you conjoin your said message and you nonverbal message does a speaker enter on to command presence.

Speak Up! How Can You Communicate Effectively at Work

“ In an ajar, trusting environment people explore clarification and supplant assumptions with understanding. Tragically, most workplaces are the converse. ”

Erle Wheatley - “ Structured Communication Builds Trust”

Some people seem to have an innate ability to connect with others in a spontaneous way and others have to work at it. But we need adequate communication skills to survive in life. Without them, we’ re at a disadvantage in many parts of our lives. We learn these skills from our parents, and subsequent from teachers and friends. We repeatedly have gaps in our knowledge about communication.

Communicating markedly sounds like a simple occupation. If it’ s so easy, what holds us back? In successful interactions we explain others and what they’ re saying, thinking and receptivity. Then we can improve our relationships with each other and hereafter improve overall caliber in the workplace.

Forewarned is forearmed. Sensible that workplaces are less than perfect climates, how can we find ways to work together respectfully? Being aware that most of us have gaps in our communication skills and that variant personality types communicate differently puts us on warning that we need to educate ourselves in this area. If we approach our work longitude with open eyes and some basic ‘ tools’ we can communicate effectively with our co - partners. Here’ s how: catch, listen ( no, really listen ) and respond. Without fail, you’ ve heard it before, but now it comes with a twist: honesty. That’ s right, being honest with yourself and others.

Nicholas Boothman writes about four basic business personalities in How to Connect in Business. The types proceed differently and have need feedback that fits their uniqueness. The dreamers, or idea generators like space and options; the analysts make direct ideas work and need us to fee attention to detail; the persuaders know how to get ideas useful and like enthusiastic responses to suggestions; and lastly the controllers insure that things get done and don’ t like to waste time. So it’ s no surprise that we need to salary close attention to how others relate to make the wheels turn in the workplace.

Spare dimension of communication is our delivery, or expression. Expression is a mixture of speech, body language, delivery and eye contact. Boothman says the most effective way to connect with others is to look them in eye. He recommends that we do an exercise: for one day just grasp the eye flush of every person you just, that’ s all. This will increase our rapport with others and our confidence in our own abilities. Extended powerful tool for understanding how someone is excitability is to subtly mimic their body language. It’ s quite surprising how well we then sense the other person’ s feelings.

It takes exertion to put aside our own ideas, and more importantly, our judgments. We often punch in to be listening when we’ re really not. Davis, Paleg and Fanning, authors of The Messages Workbook call this ‘ mock listening’. We do this for numerous reasons including preparing our response, desire to be liked and not witting how to permit without offending someone.

Humble communication means saying what you have to say these days to a person, not behind their back, and using diplomacy and understanding. Be certain to state how you feel, not how you think they feel ( use the tried and true “ I message” ).

Offering solutions to the problem and willingly acknowledging the truth in what they say creates a productive and healthy workplace.

Many people have written about the basics of clear, assertive communication. These affect giving our full attention to the person speaking, listening for the feelings behind the words as well as the content of what’ s being said and acknowledging what you’ ve heard. We can be obliged what we’ ve heard by paraphrasing ( i. e. restating for clarification ) and by giving honest feedback.

Complete messages have four parts: observations, opinions, feelings and needs. When receiving messages, practice inquiry yourself ‘ what do I grasp? ’, ‘ what’ s my opinion’ etc. First step out some of the parts makes the communication only a incomplete whole story. This may lead to misunderstandings. Other common peril we may fall into by omitting parts of messages is sending imperceivable messages, or messages with negative subtext underlying the vocal words. Try to take yourself before you convey secreted messages that express that the receiver is doing of moment astray. An sampling of this would be ‘ you work slower than a one - legged snail’ with the underlying scoop of ‘ you’ re too slow at your work’. When we admit all the higher parts the stated score will be identical with our underlying feelings and opinions. The news will then affiliate with our non - spoken communication which makes up 70 - 80 % of our interactions ( i. e. body language, call and eye signals ).

The easiest way to communicate successfully is to keep it simple to avoid the common pitfalls. Pamela Ziemann, writing in “ Speaking with Your Authentic Voice” has a formula for communicating successfully. She recommends totally listening without formulating your answer; pausing for 2 - 5 seconds to breathe; repeating the problem; then responding honestly. She stresses the importance of not saying too much.

Ralph Waldo Emerson uttered: “ To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something further is the greatest accomplishment”. Part of trusting ourselves is listening to our intuition, or “ the power of sage things without conscious reasoning” ( Webster ). We have all experienced positive and negative intuitive or desolate feelings. These body - mind messages may come as hunches, thoughts, voices, restlessness or feelings of relief. Trusting quite than sultry them gives us more information to work with. This helps us communicate more strikingly and to know when, situation and to whom we should speak. It allows us to be more honest with ourselves and others.

Balancing our own needs with the demands of our jobs means communicating respectfully and honestly and creating psychological safety for ourselves in our work environment. When we speak and act from our core values we enrich our own lives and those of everyone we come in contact with. So go ahead, Speak Up!

TIPS:

Think carefully about what you’ re saying and why

Self disclose only if fat

Repeat questions, giving yourself time to identify your feelings

Check others’ statements twice to get a truer response

Follow your intuition

Ask yourself: How does my workplace fit my values?

Have some fun at work

Forgiveness Heals the Mind, Body and Soul

The material and Christian perspectives on pardon are analogous in that they both substructure that pardon is good for us.

Specialist research has shown that indulgence is good for our psychological and physical health. Forbearance improves life delight and is associated with lower levels of anxiety and perceived stress.

Practicing pardon reduces depression and the physiological and psychological effects of post - traumatic stress disorder ( PTSD ). Clinicians are now using condo nation initiative techniques for humans who are victims of physical and emotional trauma.

Forbearance is also good for those with heart disease or “ wounded” hearts. Research has shown that learning to forgive is associated with a strapped risk of eventual heart problems.

Meditating on condo nation can make kind thoughts neurologically real. We can truly change how the brain functions by meditating on certain thoughts on a regular basis. Meditating on clemency stimulates the areas of the brain that allow us to feel compassion while suppressing the areas of the brain that sense fear and anger. Meditating on clemency can help re - ground emotional balance following a hurtful event.

Clemency is an important aspect of our spiritual growth and the Christian story shares many examples of the importance of condo nation. Jesus Christ emphasized the value of pardon in understanding his desire for coming. Jesus asked us to always forgive.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “ Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? ” Jesus answered, “ I tell you, not seven times, but seventy - seven times. ” Matthew 18: 21 - 22

Even while he was being humiliated and put away, Jesus was able ask Father to forgive his enemies:

Jesus oral, " Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. ” And they divided up his costume by casting lots. Luke 23: 34

These remarkable passages spotlight the importance of pardon for our spiritual growth. We also need to practice clemency so that we can be on the taking nib of forbearance when we make mistakes. Jesus told the next story to indicate this point.

" For, the lands of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to earnings, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sympathetic to repay the debt.

" The servant fell on his knees before him. ' Be empathetic with me, ' he begged, ' and I will wages back device. ' The servant ' s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

" But when that servant went out, he found one of his partner servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to halt him. ' Pay back what you owe me! ' he demanded.

" His partner servant fell to his knees and begged him, ' Be kind with me, and I will remuneration you back. '

" But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could remuneration the debt. When the other servants adage what had happened, they were abundantly distressed and went and told their master material that had happened.

" Then the master called the servant in.

' You wicked servant, ' he vocal, ' I canceled all that debt of yours as you begged me to. Shouldn ' t you have had mercy on your man servant just as I had on you? ' In anger his master tainted him over to the jailers to be impaired, until he should fee back all he owed.

" This is how my tempting Rear will treat each of you unless you forgive your buddy from your heart. " Matthew 18: 23 - 28

When we abide pardon to others, we ken Father ' s loveliness in our lives. This charm will affect our mind, heart, and spirit.

Traverse has shown that expanded habitat that is hopped up when we forgive is related to our ability to empathize with the lacerated of too many person. Condo nation can cheer up clubby individuality within a gang and reduce hurt. Again the Christian story shows a resembling perspective in this next alley from the speaker Paul. He wrote to the Corinthians:

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent— not to put it too exceedingly. The anxiety inflicted on him by the majority is powerhouse for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 2 Corinthians 2: 5 - 7

The earthly and Christian views on indulgence suggest that pardon is good for our physical, psychological, and spiritual health.

Take some time during your next meditation and practice extending pardon to those who have hurt you in your life. Incorporate All powerful and Jesus Christ into your meditation by inquiry them to extend pardon towards you and then ask God to help you to extend clemency to others.

Recommended reading:

Friedberg, JP, Suchday, S. & Srinivas, VS. ( 2009 ). Relationship Between Pardon and Psychological and Physiological Indices in Cardiac Patients. Int. J. Behav. Med., 16, 205– 211.

Farrow T. F, Zheng Y., Wilkinson I. D., Spence S. A., Deakin J. F., Tarrier N., Griffiths P. D., & Woodruff P. W. ( 2001 ). Investigating the functional anatomy of bond and forbearance. Neuroreport, 12 ( 11 ), 2433 - 8.

Karren, K. J., Hafen, B. Q., Smith, N. L. & Frandsen, K. J. Mind / Body Health: The Effects of Attitudes, Emotions, and Relationships. 3rd Ed., Benjamin Cummings, San Francisco, 2006.

Newberg, A. & Waldman, M. R. ( 2009 ). How Demon Changes Your Brain: Exaggeration Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist. Ballantine, New York.

Recine, A. C., Werner, J. S. & Recine, L. ( 2009 ). Health Promotion Through Pardon Aggression. Daybook of Holistic Nursing, 27, 2, 115 - 123.

Worthington, E. L., Van Oyen Witvliet, C., Pietrini, & Miller, A. J. ( 2007 ). Forgiveness, Health, and Well - Being: A Review of Evidence for Emotional Versus Decisional Forgiveness, Dispositional Forgivingness, and Underprivileged Unforgiveness. Chronicle of Behavioral Medicine, 30, 291 - 302.