Clarissa Pinkola Estes, the author of " Women Who Run with Wolves ", has a terrific recording on the life of the spirit called " The Red Shoes " ( available through www. soundstrue. com ). Estes, a Jungian analyst and Latina Cantodera ( story teller ) knows that the soul can never be shook. There is a violet edge to the Soul that regenerates, no matter what the pain or neglect. But the Spirit is different. The Spirit can be hurt. In some tribes in Africa, children are not to be run over or humiliated due to the spirit will liberty their body and run for days into the woods spot it must then be chased and begged and cajoled to come back into the child’ s body.
This loss of Spirit is a deliberate thing. There are several ways this can happen in our world. The first is to be over disciplined and over socialized from an early age, before speaking or mobile. Augmented is to be taught one point of view only, and that, a meager one, so that however you define yourself, however hard you try, you will never seem to fit. I think this has happened to most of the introverts in the beginning standard categories, the categories whereabouts we are just 1 % or 2 % of the general herd.
We do not ever hear the world described in a way that makes sense to us. We never hear our natural way of being extolled. Our ordinary pastimes and interests are not blessed. Our needs are not tacit and our reactions are not sanctioned. And so, all too repeatedly, our Spirit leaves our bodies.
This is what happens when we hear, midpoint every day it seems, that there is something in error with us, sometimes something ultra bum. We are not affectionate enough, we spend too much time alone, we are never going to be successful this way, we read too much, what is counterfactual with us, we have no friends, we are not invited over, we aren’ t dating, we don’ t want to hitch on the sorority, we don’ t network, we sneak away from office parties as right away as we can, we make a hobbling excuse not to go at all, and so it continues….
There is an invisible, assumed criterion which we can never meet. We inaugurate to think WE are untrue. We devalue our inner convictions. We mistake our ability to stand alone against the world for a weakness, reasonably than a great strength. We fail to celebration our rich inner worlds, our ability to turn information into knowledge, our need to listen and hear and fully comprehend before we speak. We apologize for our inability ability to “ communicate” never inducing that we scrawl beautifully, listen elegantly and have learned to relinquish small talk now it is not communicating. We sneak in or apologize for our favorite, soul fulfilling activities, the ones the introverts on my website mention over and over again, the acutely worthy daydreaming, listening to music, writing in journals, thinking ( “ thinking is a pastime, too! ” one introvert wrote me eminently ) or moving, cycling … playing with a pet.
What happened to us as children when we failed to apt every single criterion called “ normal”? What happened to us when our natural preferences - - things like staring out the window, sitting at the computer, playing with imaginary friends, collecting stamps or writing in a diary – were ridiculed and despised?
This is stressful and our self esteem suffers. I get learning every day from introverts who say they never felt “ ok” before.
In computation to rod your introverted child or the recovery process in yourself if you are an introvert who tried for two, three or four heartbreaking decades to be something you’ re not, let’ s look closely and with relevance at the four introvert categories with the beginning people in them. These are the children who get practically no reinforcement for their world view and their way of being unless they are lucky enough to have a source in one of these groups as well.
Having your ground of being denied like this is stressful. It is my observation that most introverts have been under constant stress from boyhood and some even have the behavior of post traumatic shock syndrome, are depressed, or have the illnesses connected with towering stress such as chronic enervate, irritable bowel syndrome or fibromyalgia. Let’ s look at how each of the four introvert groups proceed to stress, what stresses them and how we might root or re - originator these children ( and ourselves ) successfully.
The four groups are:
INTJ – the Mastermind 2 % of the men in the world and 1 % of the women
INTP – the Architect, 2 % of the men in the world and 1 % of the women
INFJ – the Example, 1 % of the men in the world and 2 % of the women
INFP – the Healer, 1 % of the men in the world and 2 % of the women
The other four introvert categories combine 5 - 6 % of the cats each: ISTJ 6 % ( Magister ), ISTP 5 % ( Crafter ), ISFJ 6 % ( Helper ) AND ISFP 5 % ( Composer ). If you’ d like more information abut these types, weekend www. keirsey. com. For ratio of all types, including extroverts, talk HERE.
INTJ THE MASTERMIND
INTJ Masterminds, being rational, are thinkers. When under stress they may become argumentative and disagreeable. Social interaction, never a forte, now becomes midpoint impossible. When under stress, they may also pop up gripping about their ideas which become increasingly negative and difficult to charge. They may have slighting thoughts about themselves, leading to feelings of worthlessness, slip and public shame, all of which inhibit them from taking further risks to achieve the success they want and need.
The INTJ, Mastermind, reacts to stress in several different ways. One way is to eat, drink or exercise to inessential. INTJs can also act impulsively and express their emotions in an intense and everyday fashion. 2 % of men and 1 % of women in this world are INTJ Masterminds.
An sample: INTJs are concerned only with things they think are heavy. If you ask them to do something that doesn’ t matter to them, you may regard all their finest qualities go flying out the window. If it is something pregnant they are working on themselves, a strong INTJ preference, and you make a suggestion, they may seem inflexible and stubborn. This is due to they don’ t automatically respect the way others think. They may act in anti - social ways and become emotionally variable if pressure continues. As a final act of dare, they may destroy the project or refuse to sustain with it and certainly not “ in public”. This indicates their confidence has been eroded by gripping inner criticism. Successive on these are the people who fail to perform some of the routine necessities of life being they don’ t feel these things are important enough to warrant their attention. i. e., representation the deck each spring, filing their income impost on time.
In springtide terms, your INTJ child may value building with legos but is not involved in learning how to set the food. Further, he or she wants to build with the legos according to an inner schematic which is paramount whether or not it is acceptable or even functional by guise standards. This is how they learn to become “ masterminds”. It’ s their way or no way. So ( 1 ) green light them alone and ( 2 ) let them learn by experimenting. Your comments are neither meet nor heeded. Your detached appreciation is tolerated!
Ways in which an INTJ’ s reality is routinely denied:
* INTJs don’ t seize your concern that they have friends or learn social skills - - people are important to the them only in terms of their usefulness for a project
* INTJs will not read it if you present them with a intention that requires losing a battle to win a strike - - operative things of significance matters to INTJs, not necessarily doing what is practical nor do they particularly value “ winning”
* INTJs will resist a process of instruction which requires copying others or doing it “ like this” as that offends a core value ( “ did you read the procedure? ” is extrinsic – no they didn’ t’ and they aren’ t going to! ) - - INTJs ofttimes have autochthonous minds and great inner drive to produce or create from a place of authenticity
Successful INTJ Masterminds from history embody Stephen Hawking, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Sir Isaac Newton and Peter the Great.
INTP THE ARCHITECT
The second type of introvert we are discussing today is the INTP, the Architect. This type, representing 2 % of men and 1 % of women, is capable of rich intense negative emotions towards others when under stress.
INTPs have sharp minds and excellent critical ability which, unfortunately, they turn on themselves under stress. They can become fussy and engrossed with details. This is turn can lead to extreme sensitivity locale criticism, fear of fault and feelings of powerlessness are concerned. If stress continues, their minds may freeze up purely, leading to stage fright, writer’ s block and other ways of inhibiting the flow of their normally superior anticipation concepts and ultra average language ability.
An original: Most INTP children can’ t stand up for themselves verbally under stress. They become “ frozen” and their own muteness adds to feelings of rage and impotence. Next on these are the people who can’ t finish their PhDs or appropriate deadlines.
In juvenescence terms, your child’ s behavior may be interrupted at impart as disrespectful. At break in children are expected to answer when vocal to, even when attacked.
Your child needs your hold in understanding how impossible this may be and how partisan the suspicion of disrespect seeing the battle is an inner one not a social one. On a more personal level, you will earn the deathless gratitude and loyalty of an INTP child if you are the one in their presence who allows them their silence with unspoken commiseration.
Ways in which their reality is denied:
* encouraging INTPs to enlarge their interests is ineffective and annoying – seat is one of the great make-up of this type of introvert and all introverts
* requiring INTPs to follow - through is meaningless - - they are theorizers – they like to do things in their head and subsequent on will excel at this while others are on assignment for follow through ( think of a structural ply or a product design superintend )
* telling an INTP to “ appease up” is cruel – they are stirred critical of their own performance and it’ s no use trying to convince them not machine needs to be virtuoso
Successful INTP Architects from history admit Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln and Socrates.
INFJ THE Model
The third degree type of introvert we will look at is the INFJ Lodestar. This type can eat, drink and exercise to noncompulsory, become critical and flaw finding and cope in very materialistic and penny-pinching ways when under stress. They are also capable of casual ethics and morality under stress. This is not normally inbred of them and is a dead bequest that they are miserably destroyed. INFJs make up 1 % of men and 2 % of women in the world.
This type is particularly sensitive to hurt feelings. If their close personal relationships fail, they may be literally devastated, more so than any other type. If stress continues, they feel “ unreal”, fragmented and disassociated. They split off from their physical bodies and suffer paralysis due to suppressed feelings. Physical symptoms can be real or imaginary.
An original: An INFJ type shows his or her feelings nowadays. These are the children ( and adults ) whose faces mask nix. If the INFJ child misinterprets something you’ ve uttered and feels desolate, they will bring about a process of disassociating from their physical body. Sometimes it looks like they are standing dead still while their face fills up with color and their eyes start to float. At this point they are prototypal to push down their feelings and it’ s taking all their concentration. If you run on to press your point, they may howl at you, “ Assent me alone” or “ Get away” through their fluency is blocked to any other form of self indication. What they are really desire for is a “ break” or “ let up”. They will need to go off by themselves and process or eruct when they are older and may return for a conversation when they’ ve airy themselves.
Extract that introverts do nearly nothing well in the presence of others, particularly under stew, so grant them the privacy and go to ensue themselves. This includes a prayer of their own with a door that closes. These are the people who sequential on may lift to work several but want to eventually yield their work product with a harmonious audience. They like and can take in long periods of special time doing over traverse, writing, editing alacrity out and so forth. Artists probably this body as well.
Try to avoid criticizing their work if possible. They feel like they ARE their work so they will take it personally and may feel devastated. INFJs are among the most people - oriented of all types.
Ways in which their reality is denied
* don’ t raise the need for developing independence – INFJs are too pleasing and improving by nature and hoist to achieve harmony with others while regularly upgrade to create peculiar
* espousing “ win any way you can, but win” or parting the world up into “ winners” and “ losers” does your INFJ a disservice - - they have firm judgment and an unique want to fix up the common good
* forcing them to be true-to-life about all their projects - - like all “ Ns” they can pop in to pull off impulsively without thinking things through and may be perfectionist as to the selection but that is not what matters to them … what matters to them is that they are in the process of doing big-league that is exceptional to them
Successful INFJ Counselors from sequel are Eleanor Roosevelt, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Mohandas Gandhi and Goethe.
INFP THE HEALER
The fourth type of introvert in the primordial inexperience crowd is the INFP, the Healer. Healers make up just 1 % of men and 2 % of women on the planet.
Healers under stress can do things to haphazard, like the other types – eating, drinking and exercise. In addendum they can become cool and bragging and are powerful of ignoring others’ feelings when under apprehension.
The worst bleeding heart of worry for the INFP is to be in a bearings stage their ethics fight with a relationship. In other words, when their enthusiasm to please others, even abandonment for others, is individual to their need for integrity, they suffer. Under this compassionate of alarm, INFPs trigger to feel “ unreal”. They may lose their place in time and cut. Never very enticed in the physical world, surroundings or dominion, if stress continues, the INFP may lose the ability to make simple observations and choices or to be present in any comprehensible sense of the word.
INFPs can also become restless and quixotic when under stress. Sometimes it is hard for them to know when they should vacate and turn to something more.
An symbol: INFP children little care about physical reality, surroundings or monarchy. Thanks to of this they may misplace personal property, leave field lying out, scuff or harm furniture, mess up fete clothing, etc. These things don’ t even get on their radar bury. However, they have good enough learned that these things are important to you and therein lies the conflict and it is a severe and maturation one.
Let’ s say they can’ t find something and think they might have companionless it at form or in the car on the way home. Normally they’ d gap a second and then modification on to something extended. Their love for you, however, says go look for it and act like you really care. Since they aren’ t plugged into physical reality, the search for the entity quickly becomes stressful. They don’ t really care about finding it, so they don’ t do a good job of looking ( and they never will ). This results in greater stress, self - criticism and conflict. Eventually the world spins and they stand still. When asked a direct interrogation about the matter, they answer something abstract and seemingly unrelated. These are all clues that your INFP child is in inner turmoil and utterly miserable. These are the people who later on buy loud umbrellas so when they sufferance them on the plane or in the cab on the way home, it doesn’ t matter.
Ways in which their reality is denied:
* forcing them to take rigid care of their sway - - the physical world is not important to INFPs, thereupon they may lose country, break or contaminate objects and not ever civility – if you try to beat this awareness into them, it will only convince them there is something powerful untrue with them, for they can infrequently improve - - instead wreath their values and don’ t bother buying them lots of “ stuff”, particularly not precious or priceless stuff (! ) as they could care less
* cautioning them to be wary and prudent by extrovert standards - they gladly name with others and watch the best in them – this is an oft gullible category of folks but consequently they will go on and with their gullibility comes some big of eternal protection for these are the people who love all living creatures
* criticizing them from a place of independent authority - - they live in an ideal world, others may not ever applicable their standards; further, they may fail to proper their own standards … by the time an frontage authority criticizes them as well, it is stimulating
Successful INFP Healers from history embrace Princess Diana, Isabel Myers, Shakespeare, Homer and the Virgin Mary.
CONCLUSION
As you can behold, the four basic groups of introverts, INTJ Masterminds, INTP Architects, INFJ Counselors and INFP Healers can experience frustration in trying to happy the demands of a world set up by and for others. Type categories are based on Jungian psychology and the way to win in the Jungian model is not to try and become something you aren’ t, but quite to become more consciously that which you are.
You can stiffener your introverted child by learning more about the way they naturally approach the world. Don’ t try to change him or her into an extrovert. This is the ultimate stressor. It can lead to long term loss of Spirit, low self esteem, depression and health conditions associated with long term stress. Some of the signs to timer for have been indicated for each type: excessive eating, drinking or exercise, besetting self criticism and perfectionism, titillation “ unreal” or “ lost” in time and space, disassociating from the body, speechless paralysis and cries for help such as “ get away” or “ permit me alone”.
COAXING BACK THE SPIRIT
How can we coax the spirit back into these bodies? By becoming informed about introvert qualities and making thorough they are endorsed and greet in the human family. The boss qualities of introverted children are: territoriality, needing to wait and stopwatch from the sidelines before joining in, concentrating on one thing or person at a time, thinking before speaking. For a look at introverts’ favorite preceding times, spot my survey results at www. theintrovertzcoach. com / playsurveyresults. html.
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