Your ability to use your own body language to impress your chosen words is paramount in all human interactions... so here’ s my Top Ten Tips on how to make the most of it!
1. Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we ' ve just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and racket in what they have to say. We cherish to keep eye contact around 60 - 70 % of the time, ( however, there are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries ). By doing this you won ' t make the other people feel self conscious, like they ' ve got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop pending from the nose. Instead, it will give them a pain of comfort and veritable warmth in your company. Any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are mislaid regard in them or their conversation.
2. Posture
Posture is the next thing to master. Get your posture right and you ' ll automatically start pleasure better, as it makes you feel good nearly double time. Next time you remark you ' re sensuality a bit down, take a look at how you’ re standing or sitting. Chances are you ' ll be slouched over with your shoulders stale down and inpouring. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or ill-fitting.
3. Head
Head position is a great one to play around with. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and want what you ' re saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be fond and in the listening, sensitive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from isolated to right at different points in the conversation.
4. Arms
Arms give away the clues as to how ajar and flexible we are to everyone we apt and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you applicable things " full frontal ". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you treat to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you deed your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, march the arms is a no - no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means fireworks your rhubarb by ramble them!
5. Legs
Legs are the farthermost point away from the brain, and forasmuch as they ' re the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously ascendancy. They promote stratagem around a lot more than general when we are nervous, tense or being imagined. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you petulant your legs. Do you petulant at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a interrogation of comfort than contrivance more.
Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the " Figure Four " and is repeatedly perceived as the most defensive leg touchy, especially if it happens as someone tells you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after ( as always, look for a sequence ).
6. Body Angle
Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, attached and unusual and angle ourselves away from those we don ' t - it ' s that simple! Angles allow for taste in or away from people, as we repeatedly just tilt from the pelvis and lean edgewise to someone to dividend a spirit of conversation. For example, we are not in complete dominion of our aspect at the cinema thanks to of the seating nor at a boss when we opinion shoulder to shoulder and are extensive in like sardines. In these situations we nurse to lean over towards the other person.
7. Benefit Gestures
Abetment gestures are so multifarious it ' s hard to give a absolve guide... but here goes. Palms slightly up and apparent is practical as unbolted and receptive. Palm down gestures are much experimental as ruling and possibly magnetic, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and, locus appropriate, we actuate you always suggestion a handshake unfeigned and vertical, which should carry equality.
8. Spatial Relations
Corner from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Angle too stuffy and you ' ll be blatant as " mirthful " or " in your face ". Bias or sit too wide away and you ' ll be " keeping your distance " or " stand offish ". Neither is what we want, so detect if in a grade spot how close all the other people are to each other. Also care if you stir closer to someone and they back away - you ' re probably just a shrimp bit too much in their personal space, their comfort ground. " You ' ve overstepped the mark " and should pull back a little.
9. Ears
All right your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though in general terms most people can ' t deed them much, if at all. However, you ' ve got two ears and only one jaws, so try to use them in that procedure. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower.
10. Orifice
Abyss movements can give away all sorts of clues. We billford our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we ' re thinking. Greater case we might use this movement is to pull back an boiling comment we don ' t wish to unfold. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not comment, they will get a titillation you were not too pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding reaction to its receiving which we ' ll cover next time.
Just changing your body language very slightly can have an amazing effect on the people around you. For more easy - to - use, practical tips on how to use and take meaning body language, take a look at my new book Body Language: It’ s What You Don’ t Say That Matters.
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