Louis shock turns to rejection and anger
The world caved in on Louis when his beloved of three age ditched him, lamentation he was ‘ too flat! ’ Louis had been the devoted boyfriend and caretaker. He did whatever she asked no matter what the cost to him. He cut out his friends and family. He stopped playing sports and dropped out of college. When the shock of his intrusive dismissal from the relationship hit him, he went through a spell of cynicism and then he became ablaze.
Getting zero return on his relationship risk made Louis hot-headed
Louis had disposed her his gross attention, and prevailing her every need. He lost himself in the relationship and was frantic that his feat had failed. Louis despondently recalled his fitness routine in the gym and on the basketball adjudicator. He remembered the glee of Marshall arts and the fun he had winding down with his mates. He concluding of the ease with which he sailed through high lecture math and science. He could have done a lot with his talents and energy. By rights he ought to be on a stimulating career path, earning good money. But at the age of 26 he was pauperized, jobless and rooming with a relative. He was rotund, out of shape and despondent.
The anger of wasted potential jump started Louis ' s recovery
Anger washed over the gloomy and sorry parts of Louis. He hated sensibility overthrown and hung out to dry. It reminded him of the times his elephantine scolded him for not doing his homework right the first time. He relived the sting of his teachers calling him flagging, and other students mocking him with jealousy when he got straight ‘ A’ grades without studying. Louis felt the taste of his wasted potential as his rage kicked him in the crush. He couldn’ t sleep, eat or luxuriate in uncertain out with friends. Louis decided to rediscover his ancient self and bring it up to speed.
Louis used anger as his power tool to remake his self - esteem
Louis developed a daily routine at the gym. He found his way back into a basketball team and practiced hard. It made him feel strong and on fire. He focused his attention on getting his body toned up with a good diet. He slept better and woke refreshed ready to explore his abilities. He enrolled in college and took a full set of classes to make up for the wasted agedness.
He found himself to be sharp, able to hang out and achieve grades he was magnificent of.
What does research tell us about anger and achievement?
In 2007 a study outlined in the Magazine Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin indicated that anger is much utilitarian in thinking through a problem in a more rational and analytical means. Louis used his anger exactly in this way. He had been blinded by the relationship and fear of loss. Anger at being dumped made him think more decidedly and rationally about his needs and he set about putting his own house in pattern.
A 2008 study reported in the Daybook of Psychological Science suggests that anger is beneficial when people have to carry out confrontational tasks. Anger more select performance on tasks that mosaic ‘ beating an enemy. ’ Louis had many internal enemies. Louis had to confront the truth that he had been homeless. He had to confront the loss of self - esteem, self - respect and his part in losing himself in a one - way relationship.
Ten ways Louis used anger to build himself up and succeed
1. Anger lit the fire of personal restraint and power
2. Anger propelled Louis to limelight on himself - his present and his approaching.
3. Anger at being dumped made Louis decide to flash in on his dormant strengths and skills.
4. Anger helped Louis to shut out distractions and heart his energy and intelligence to take charge of his life.
5. Anger made Louis set on to feel capable and accomplished.
6. Anger pushed Louis to test himself and feel the pride of success.
7. Anger directed Louis to put himself through his paces, passage new heights.
8. Anger allowed Louis to come back fighting, performing better and ever.
9. Anger took Louis from a sense of overpower and loss to triumph and gain
10. Anger drove Louis to overcome the disfavour of being dumped and find multiple reasons to think and deem well of himself.
We have all empitic athletes and clashing teams whether political or commercial ‘ psyche’ themselves up with anger in procession to ‘ win. ’ Louis’ s event is an sample of using anger to win the internal battles with yourself against your own blind spots.
Get tips on successful intimate relationships at http: / / howtobuildhealthyrelationships. com
Learn how to have successful intimate relationships at http: / / howtobuildhealthyrelationships. com
Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph. D. 2010
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